My Day

Today was pretty awesome...except I didnt get to see them :[ although seeing Wai Wai certainly made up for it. I love that boy so much. seven years old, chubby cheeks, and when he says, "kiss kiss." i cant help but lean my cheek down for him.

That's Wai...My awesome Homeboy, my lover, my baby. I cant wait to see him tomorrow. and i gotta teach his mom English, that might be awkward. But I also cant wait to see Zu Byan, Tun Tun, ThaZin (the other one), Tay Ba, Za Kay Ra, and all the new freshman.
Things were weird for a while, with Tun Tun acting funny towards me. But now I know everything is all right, he punched me in the cheek and called "Gwaing" 60 times. Friendship :] yep. And seeing Tay Ba made me feel so happy. Getting bear hugged by her, and walking around the complex holding hands makes me so happy inside, like being encased in her love...

Tay Ba <-------------------->Tun Tun, (ME!!), Za Kay Ra, and Zu Byan

Tay Ba

I saw her today, in all her beauty. I saw her and I wanted to jump into her, so be held in her arms, to feel her breath against my cheeks.
I saw her today, and I wanted to smell the delicious sent of her hair, to walk hand-in-hand with her, to show her off to the world.
I saw her today, I heard her laugh, that's all I really need. No one quite compares to her, everyone else pales and dulls when stood next to her.
I saw her today and I remembered how much I missed her this summer, How no matter now many hugs I received, hers was the one I needed the most.
I walked with her today, to the place that no one knows. I talked to her, those faint whispers that no one remembers tomorrow.
I saved up the memories of her, in my heart, to pull out when I'm lonely. She's the almost the only one who can make it disappear.
I look for her everyday, hoping to see her. I dont know who I love the most: This girl or the boy who makes me heart thump wildly.
They have a power over me, something no one else can understand, and I like it that way. Like a secret that will never be told.
It doesnt need to be...
I saw her today, I walked with her, I was happy, who could ask for anything more? I hugged her today, I told her that I missed her.
I saw my best friend....

Sunday Afternoon

Sunday Afternoon surely falls into Monday Morning. How I dread those sudden changes, my freedom being exchanged for a prison. what!?! Yes, I'm talking about school. I hate it so much, and I'm not good at it. I try so hard and yet I can never make it. :[ Oh well, thats not the point right now. I really am going to tell you about my Sunday afternoon.
I went to church and my day wasnt going so well, but then my big sister came and I felt so much better!! She was there and it was great! But alas, thats not what I really wanted to share either...
I learned how to drive!!! there it finally came out, the right words connecting so powerfully. Dont be scared, its ok. I dont have my permit or anything which is really a funny story. I'm almost fifteen, so I cant get my permit yet. So my best friend Tim promised me that he would teach me how to drive. Yesterday we went to the park and I drove for like, 30 minutes!! I didnt crash either..Yes! But I almost drove into a ditch. haha. So I was practicing turning around a tree, when Tim asked me, "Is that a cop!?!" I looked up and I was like, "Yeah, it is..crap!" I wanted to hit the brake, but instead I hit the accelerator and we kept moving toward the tree. I finally figured out how to brake and we stopped so suddenly. wow! And then Tim has these weird seatbelts and I couldnt get myself out of the car. I bolted out and we got situated right as the cops came. The funny thing was, we were parked on the grass and we werent supposed to be. Also the cops just looked at my brother who was playing with my little sister Chunky, so strangely. Yeap, that was weird. Fun Times, Fun Times....
After the whole cop thing, Tim wouldnt let me drive anymore, because he was scared of getting his drivers license taken away. So we played at the park, the park was like a jungle! We were crossing over the creeks, and branches, and fallen trees, and through the mud. With Chunky whos just under two years, passing her back and forth, carrying her above her head through the thorns. Yes, today was great!!!

Life Itself

Life...Wow. Not something I'm enjoying a whole lot right now. But its ok, not perfect, not great, but ok. I'm making it through, which is prolly one of the most important things. Life ( esp. when you're a teenager) is like a battle, some get through it just fine, others have a bit of trouble, maybe some gun fire, but they make it. Still others can only make it through those years barely, just barely. and They have the cuts and scars to prove it. I dont know which type I am yet. Sure I have scars, but they're not real noticeable. I guess thats good sometimes, like when i meet new people. I wouldnt want them staring at my arms or something. But then there are those Times when I want a scar, a marking so deep it will never heal. So i can look back and remember the pain. Yeah, its weird, sometimes i only think of the scar as a way to remember the pain, not get rid of it. I read this great book, The Runner, Its about a guy named Bullet and he's a cross country runner. Theres something about it that makes me want to meet him, makes me wish that he wasnt some fictional character. I have the feeling that if I met him in real, true, life I would make him my best friend. That saddens me, that He isnt real. He reminds me of someone, when I figure out who, I will tell... Hmm something that is really eating me up right now is boys. Yeah, im a teen age girl who called herself beautiful and now I'm talking about boys. No, Im not some vain prep girl who cant get enough of herself. Thats not it at all. I just have some weird Charm that guys seem to eat up. But thats beside the point. So theres this one guy, who I like..A lot! like so much i can hardly breathe when im around him. We both left this summer, to go and work different places. When he left, I knew he liked me and I'm pretty sure he knew I liked him. But when I come back, it seems he has a girlfriend, but i dont know if hes lying or not. So yeah I dont know what to do. I think Im going to tell him anyways. But he doesnt speak English as a first language, which makes me worried how much we'll be able to communicate about our feelings. Now we do fine, talking and laughing but who knows??? I dont speak Burmese at all.. well, like a one over a gazillionth percent which is really, really, small.. so yeah thats sucks...But I dont know what to do. Ive never really had boy trouble like this. But my gut is telling me to go for it, even if i get burned. and most of the time, my gut is right. so yeah, but im still nervous... Thats it for now i guess...Who would read about my life, i have no clue. When i talk about it, it seems so much more fun. And since you prolly dont know me, well it seems even more distant, maybe like a fairy tale...see you soon ok? ^.^ <3 Hla ThaZin

Thats me!! The Pale one, with two of my best friends!! Wai Wai and El Nay. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll hear about them soon. We're farmers, chewing on our weed, haha!!

The Broken

Tears are falling
Softly Lulling
Her into a sleep
Of the Very deep

Pain no more
Blood and Gore
Not a problem
To her Anymore

Hearts are Breaking
Never Waking
Nothing can be done
To save this little one

This is a poem I wrote about a little girl. The little girl was so beautiful, with dark eyes, a round mouth, and shiny brown hair. Everyone loved the little girl so much, because of her infinite beauty. They thought that one day, she would grow up and be this amazing model. But then they found out that her daddy was abusing her. He would hit her and call her names. He would give her bruises and scrapes. But the little girl loved her daddy, she thought he didnt mean to do it. So she would never tell. But one day, he hit her on the back of her head. She cried softly, so he wouldnt hear, so he wouldnt come back. But she could feel herself getting woozy, floating out of this world. And so...She died. When everyone heard about it, they were surprised and their hearts were broken for never noticing it and not helping her. The End.