He makes me Delirious.
But will it ever work out? We come from two different religions, two different cultures, two different countries. How much are we really willing to sacrifice to be with each other. I dont know that yet. All I know right know is that I like being with him and that he gives me the flutters. I've never felt this way before, about anyone. So I really dont know where this is going to take me, but I'm ready for an adventure...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Ninja Star
First things first and that would be the ninja star. The Coolest thing ever, possibly. 100% made by me, well, except for the paper and the ink. But I think the rest of it I made myself.
So uh, here it is:
Also...He said yes, that he likes me. That boy. Yea, im so happy and excited right now, I can barely wait until tomorrow...
So uh, here it is:
The Ninja Star in all its glory!!!
"You know I wouldn't lie, such a terrible thing to do. So let the words on this ninja star, Ring True..."
"Ninjas are swift and silent, Kinda like the way I fell for you. No one makes me feel the way you do, So does that mean I love you?"
Also...He said yes, that he likes me. That boy. Yea, im so happy and excited right now, I can barely wait until tomorrow...
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Questions?!? Confusing Facts? What is this?
Hey! This is more of a rant than anything else, not really something interesting about me life or something funny. Nope! I'm just an angry little girl who needs to vent. Some things are just questions that no one seems to want to answer. I ask and I ask but no one either, 1. knows the answer, 2. knows how to answer, as in put it into words, or 3. wants to answer.
People, especially my mom are forcing me, yeah thats basically it, forcing me, to love people that I really have no desire to love. One would be two of my little sisters. Yes, I know its mean and cruel and just about everything else. But I'm so sick and tired of them being little brats and never getting in trouble. Or how my mom always defends them. Maybe its because when they get into trouble she forgives them right away and never gives them any tough love or anything. Me? I get in trouble and my mom hates me for days. I never seem to do anything right in her eyes. Well, maybe its just a common teen age feeling. It probably is and since Im a teen ager Im over exatrating just to draw attention to myself. I seem to do that a lot you know. But wait! Theres more. She also wants me to love my ex-boyfriend. Why? Because she loves him and wants him to be happy. I dont hate him, and he never did anything really wrong. Nothing more than have a relationship with me. When I think about it, I dont know why we HAD to be together right then. It may have ruined our chances for actually having a future together. Probably. So yea, right now I'm not feeling too much love toward him, maybe because I'm hiding it, maybe because its lost. Who Knows?!!
Now on the the topic of religion. Yikes! I know I know, why did I have to bring religion into this? Or why am I even thinking about it. A couple of things, really, I'm pretty sure they're important. Question (because these are really questions that no one has answered for various reasons) uno: If God doesnt care about us, why would he bother making us? Or why should we believe in a god who doesnt care? Example: My little brother died this last February and I;ve really, really struggled with it. So I was talking to me friend the other day and she told me, "God doesnt care what you want. He knew that Sammy was going to die before Chunky (my little sister) was even born. Then why even let my mom be pregnant? Why would He do that if he already knew what was going to happen? Why even make us if He doesnt care about what we think or how we really feel? Why would he let us have "free will" if its not really free? I mean, He already knows who is going to Heaven and Hell, He made us so the ones who are going to Hell wouldnt say, "Thats not fair." Why make us if He already knows everything thats going to happen. Its not even free will then, its an illusion of free will. Because everything is already mapped out, right? Its confusing, hurts my brain to think about it. It's like a giant game of sims. Like, God plays this little game just for his amusement. Except it's better than Sims because God already knows EVERYTHING! This is probably a very blasphemes blog right here, and for that I apologize. I just dont know what to think.
Question dos: Why cant I have a boyfriend of another religion? God already knows whats going to happen. He knew I was going to like this "boy" a lot. He knew that since the world began. He gave me these feelings of intense emotions, this nervousness when my lungs and heart get stuck to my skin and I can hardly breathe. So why cant I do anything about this? My Christian friends arent happy that I like a boy from a different religion. I know my parents wont be happy when they find out (which I know they will). But WHY?! People can call themselves Christian and be fake. Look at me. Look at my two ex boyfriends. At least when they were with me they werent Christian. I hate it! I hate the way everyone wants to run a piece of my life. Urgghh!!!
This blog is already extremely long and I wouldnt want to bore you, so I'll write some more whenever. Also my brain is turning to mush and So i guess it would be best to just...stop now and take some deep breaths and check my aim. so see ya later...
<3 Hla ThaZin
People, especially my mom are forcing me, yeah thats basically it, forcing me, to love people that I really have no desire to love. One would be two of my little sisters. Yes, I know its mean and cruel and just about everything else. But I'm so sick and tired of them being little brats and never getting in trouble. Or how my mom always defends them. Maybe its because when they get into trouble she forgives them right away and never gives them any tough love or anything. Me? I get in trouble and my mom hates me for days. I never seem to do anything right in her eyes. Well, maybe its just a common teen age feeling. It probably is and since Im a teen ager Im over exatrating just to draw attention to myself. I seem to do that a lot you know. But wait! Theres more. She also wants me to love my ex-boyfriend. Why? Because she loves him and wants him to be happy. I dont hate him, and he never did anything really wrong. Nothing more than have a relationship with me. When I think about it, I dont know why we HAD to be together right then. It may have ruined our chances for actually having a future together. Probably. So yea, right now I'm not feeling too much love toward him, maybe because I'm hiding it, maybe because its lost. Who Knows?!!
Now on the the topic of religion. Yikes! I know I know, why did I have to bring religion into this? Or why am I even thinking about it. A couple of things, really, I'm pretty sure they're important. Question (because these are really questions that no one has answered for various reasons) uno: If God doesnt care about us, why would he bother making us? Or why should we believe in a god who doesnt care? Example: My little brother died this last February and I;ve really, really struggled with it. So I was talking to me friend the other day and she told me, "God doesnt care what you want. He knew that Sammy was going to die before Chunky (my little sister) was even born. Then why even let my mom be pregnant? Why would He do that if he already knew what was going to happen? Why even make us if He doesnt care about what we think or how we really feel? Why would he let us have "free will" if its not really free? I mean, He already knows who is going to Heaven and Hell, He made us so the ones who are going to Hell wouldnt say, "Thats not fair." Why make us if He already knows everything thats going to happen. Its not even free will then, its an illusion of free will. Because everything is already mapped out, right? Its confusing, hurts my brain to think about it. It's like a giant game of sims. Like, God plays this little game just for his amusement. Except it's better than Sims because God already knows EVERYTHING! This is probably a very blasphemes blog right here, and for that I apologize. I just dont know what to think.
Question dos: Why cant I have a boyfriend of another religion? God already knows whats going to happen. He knew I was going to like this "boy" a lot. He knew that since the world began. He gave me these feelings of intense emotions, this nervousness when my lungs and heart get stuck to my skin and I can hardly breathe. So why cant I do anything about this? My Christian friends arent happy that I like a boy from a different religion. I know my parents wont be happy when they find out (which I know they will). But WHY?! People can call themselves Christian and be fake. Look at me. Look at my two ex boyfriends. At least when they were with me they werent Christian. I hate it! I hate the way everyone wants to run a piece of my life. Urgghh!!!
This blog is already extremely long and I wouldnt want to bore you, so I'll write some more whenever. Also my brain is turning to mush and So i guess it would be best to just...stop now and take some deep breaths and check my aim. so see ya later...
<3 Hla ThaZin
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Circle of Sunshine!
Today I got to see three of my best friends..ever! Tay Ba, Zu Byan, and Tun Tun were at tutoring. I wanted to hang out with them so bad, but Sam Si really needed my help with her homework. It made me sad that I couldnt hang out with them outside the apartment, but I was happy that they had come by to visit me and that they stayed to be with me for a bit. We had a really awesome time, talking about girlfriends and boyfriends.
"Tay Ba, Why dont you have any homework? Did your boyfriend do it for you?"-Me
"I bet he did. He's very handsome you know!"-Sam Si
"I dont have a boyfriend! Be quiet, you dont know anything!!"-Tay Ba
"Well, Zu Byan has three girlfriends." -Sam Si
Puzzled look on Zu Byan's face. "What?!! I only have one girlfriend, and that would be G-W-E-N, Gwen."
Now the puzzled look is on Sam Si's face. "Huh? Is that true?"
I laugh and say that it is. "It's true, Zu Byan's my boyfriend."
I think everyone believed us, except for maybe Tay Ba and Tun Tun. Why would they, even if they know its gonna happen? They're our best friends and they cant be tricked so easily. I really hope everything works out, cuz I really, really, really like that boy. He makes my heart smile :]
About Sam Si. She told me that she got an A+ on the math paper I helped her with. That made me so happy because, 1. Im terrible at math, 2. That means she's understanding, and 3. I've never gotten an A+ before, esp. not in math. Sam Si also learned how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide variables. I was so proud of her. I never knew I could be so proud of someone I 1. barely know and 2. even someone who's been my friend for a very long time, being proud of something small.
Today was a really awesome day, I can barely believe that its already Thursday. Those would be my friends, lifting me up when I really need it and not even knowing it.
"Tay Ba, Why dont you have any homework? Did your boyfriend do it for you?"-Me
"I bet he did. He's very handsome you know!"-Sam Si
"I dont have a boyfriend! Be quiet, you dont know anything!!"-Tay Ba
"Well, Zu Byan has three girlfriends." -Sam Si
Puzzled look on Zu Byan's face. "What?!! I only have one girlfriend, and that would be G-W-E-N, Gwen."
Now the puzzled look is on Sam Si's face. "Huh? Is that true?"
I laugh and say that it is. "It's true, Zu Byan's my boyfriend."
I think everyone believed us, except for maybe Tay Ba and Tun Tun. Why would they, even if they know its gonna happen? They're our best friends and they cant be tricked so easily. I really hope everything works out, cuz I really, really, really like that boy. He makes my heart smile :]
About Sam Si. She told me that she got an A+ on the math paper I helped her with. That made me so happy because, 1. Im terrible at math, 2. That means she's understanding, and 3. I've never gotten an A+ before, esp. not in math. Sam Si also learned how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide variables. I was so proud of her. I never knew I could be so proud of someone I 1. barely know and 2. even someone who's been my friend for a very long time, being proud of something small.
Today was a really awesome day, I can barely believe that its already Thursday. Those would be my friends, lifting me up when I really need it and not even knowing it.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
My Day
Today was pretty awesome...except I didnt get to see them :[ although seeing Wai Wai certainly made up for it. I love that boy so much. seven years old, chubby cheeks, and when he says, "kiss kiss." i cant help but lean my cheek down for him.
That's Wai...My awesome Homeboy, my lover, my baby. I cant wait to see him tomorrow. and i gotta teach his mom English, that might be awkward. But I also cant wait to see Zu Byan, Tun Tun, ThaZin (the other one), Tay Ba, Za Kay Ra, and all the new freshman.
Things were weird for a while, with Tun Tun acting funny towards me. But now I know everything is all right, he punched me in the cheek and called "Gwaing" 60 times. Friendship :] yep. And seeing Tay Ba made me feel so happy. Getting bear hugged by her, and walking around the complex holding hands makes me so happy inside, like being encased in her love...
Tay Ba <-------------------->Tun Tun, (ME!!), Za Kay Ra, and Zu Byan
That's Wai...My awesome Homeboy, my lover, my baby. I cant wait to see him tomorrow. and i gotta teach his mom English, that might be awkward. But I also cant wait to see Zu Byan, Tun Tun, ThaZin (the other one), Tay Ba, Za Kay Ra, and all the new freshman.
Things were weird for a while, with Tun Tun acting funny towards me. But now I know everything is all right, he punched me in the cheek and called "Gwaing" 60 times. Friendship :] yep. And seeing Tay Ba made me feel so happy. Getting bear hugged by her, and walking around the complex holding hands makes me so happy inside, like being encased in her love...
Tay Ba <-------------------->Tun Tun, (ME!!), Za Kay Ra, and Zu Byan
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